the graduation

if you don't notice very close, i look like someone who loves to get mad, some people say i look fierce, others say i have a very serious expression

but, closer than you might be i am actually very uhm, fragile -cliche, urrgh- i cry a lot, titanic, baby's birth, farewell, good songs, nice words, gaaah i know those seem stupid things to cry but that's just the way i am, including this

for three years in high school i' ve learned most of the things teens our age experience, broken heart and resurrect from it, friendship and it's complications, failing and doing great

but none of the will worth to remember without the most ingredients best friendship...

without having those people who are ready to back up all the time, i will never go through those series of unfortunate events in my life safely, my best friends are my guardian

like one time, i cry for this boy -eww, i know- that i fall so deep, my friends was trying so hard to convince me that i'm okay without him...and you know what those kind of events are just impossible to tell to parents or sisters, but friends they are in an extraordinary way can make us tell all stories we hide and heal them spontaniously

now that we have graduate, usually we check out each other everyday for ,more than 7 hours, now those times are just a series of nice memories

those times that we laugh so hard until we fall from the chair and your tummy numb those are going to be engraved in our heart forever

those times when we help each other in exams...hmmm they will never be forgotten :)

my friends worth every happy tears in the world, they worth the world to me. Nothing will replace their place in my heart and my brain

now that we have graduated and that we have lived on our own road, i bid you farewell and hope to meet you all very soon..

when people ask i'll say " i didn't make it to my prom"

just 3 days before prom i received 2 breaking heart announcement

i decided to miss my prom since then, not because i failed in making it to good universities but more of uhmm...maybe because i'm scared that prom wouldn't be that much of fun since i failed

if you see my post earlier you would fine some pictures of my preparations for prom. you can say i was all set. there was nothing wrong with everything until i found those two announcement.

you would wonder, "she went through all those troubles making clothes, and practicing heels for more than 2 week....what for?if in the end she was going to abandon them" and if you notice i've prepared them on the side of my stairs, the dress, the bag, the heels. but i never get to wear them forever.

well here i am, watching demi lovato on disney channel making jokes "fine!fine!fine!fine!". i know you would say "pathetic"...sitting in front of my laptop and imagining what a wonderful night my friends might be having make me sick. but then again i make choices. sometimes people make good choice, other times they're bad...but as long as you make the dicision yourself, uhmm i guess i wouldn't regret it

i felt like i'm outreaching my dreams...but you know what it's fine, i'm fine

i wish everyone coming to prom tonight would make their night very blast and wonderful...have yourself some unforgettable evening people!!!

the perfect ending

so we held this huge even namanya MAKRAB...

ada games main "panjang-panjangan"

ada makan-makan

ada sholat jamaah yang ga jelas

ada juga sharing

*bagian do'a di skip deh :D

buat saya personally yang paling menyenangkan dari MAKRAB adalah saat paling akhir dimana semua sudah selesai terus semuanya pada ngelepasin beban dengan minta maaf dan ngucapin "selamat sukses" satu sama lain

saya sendiri sudah mengucapkan ke hampir semua yang saya kenal dan saya pernah buat salah sewaktu dulu *mungkin belum semua sih

sayaa..

menunggu momen untuk uhmmm

saya sangat ingin pergi ke seberang karpet merah untuk salaman sama kamu

saya cuma bisa lihat dari jauh kamu senyum kamu ketawa saya senang rasanya

saya pengen banget jalan ke sana terus salamin kamu...

tapi kaki saya beku

okelah saya pikir mungkin emang ga takdir, semua orang ngejabat tangan kamu terus kamu senyum, ketawa

saya iri

kamu mendekat saya bener-bener deg-degan rasanya

saya takut sekaligus senang, kemudian saya mau mengalihkan rasa takut dengan noleh ke belakang

ada teman lama saya, yang dulu awal kelas 11 kita dekeeet banget terus gara-gara suatu masalah kita jadi musuhan

kita berpelukan...saya menangis membisikkan kata maaf barangkali 20 kali...saya menangis

tanpa saya tahu di hilang yang mau saya salamin dengan tangan saya...

tapi dia kembali lagi, then ada sukma yang nyalamin orang itu. aku ngeberaniin diri buat deketin dia

the moment was everything i would say perfect

the sky, the light, the moments

i gave my hand, and he gave his hand

i was drowning in excitement, sorrow, and love

i stare at him and we both say

"SUKSES YA"
"SUKSES"

i knew, he knew, his friends knew, everybody around us knew how much he mean to me...
i don't care if he doesn't or even never feel like what i felt to him, i only know one thing

though it was bitter, but it was a perfect ending for me
thank you for letting me having that

i will savor the moment forever in my life

'sok' jenius yang idiot

okey i know this guy for like less than a year more than six months

i can sum up two things :
- he's a jerk from the way he speak to his friend
- he's an asshole
- he's a "hey, i look genius right" wannabe
- and last, "i must be sophisticated, that's what people think about me" kind a person

but the truth is here it goes:
-you are the very most plagiarist of attitude, when someone suddenly become very poetic you want to be one. when sophisticated is a trend you try to be one to, be yourself god damned

-you are a self righteous that is very dumb, you want to create what someone else had started but it turns out really bad for your reputation

-you don't think of future at all. you don't think how to be success for your parents, or for your own good. instead you think of how to win some cheesy selection

-you judge people without trying to get to know them. i have time to get to know you. i asked most of your friends what kind a person are you. but you? you see him/her if the way they acted doesn't suit your heart then they are bad for you...

-you don't appreciate your friend. okey, here it goes, when your friend says "let's sit over here" and you disagree tell him this "let's just sit over here" instead of saying " yeah yeah " with showing the attitude of " whatever loser" poor you friend of him...sabar yah :)

at the end i want to say this to you

SHAME ON YOU FOR NOT ENJOYING LIFE FULLY!!!
OPEN YOUR MIND MAN!!!

PROM STUFF AND WHATEVER

Hey those are my stuff that i prepare for prom night

without being cheesy or whatever, i just want to...uhmm well you can say a bit show off

and a bit curious of people's comment on it

so don't bother to leave your comment here...
anyway

I AM SOOO LOOKING FORWARD FOR ANY COMMENT....

OR MAYBE SUGGESTION ON THE COLOR OF VEIL I SHOULD WEAR ACCORDINGLY TO THE DRESS

THANK YOU!!!!!

PS: I REALLY LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE THE HEELS!!!!

you and me (???)

so still i reminisce all the memories

for exactly, those stupid memories...
aku inget banget betapa aku ga mau pulang cepet abis sekolah dan malahan nongkrong di kelasnya ridha sampe sore, ngebicarain hal-hal ga penting

karena kamu...

atau waktu makan pizza bareng, aku rasanya makan batu saking geroginya kamu di sebelahku

jelas karena kamu...

waktu latih tanding, waktu jalan bareng 'akatsuli', waktu uhmm...

aku masih inget lhooo
nontonin kamu main bola, liat kamu main drum, becanda bareng kamu (dan bersama yang lain -selalu)...

kamu itu satu nama sejuta mimpi buat orang kaya aku...

:D

aku inget banget waktu aku nangis terisak-isak di lab karena kamu...

aku suka sama kamu, mulai dari cewekmu masih yang itu sampe ke yang ini...

selang 3 cewek dan aku masih suka kamu, walaupun semua orang bilang kamu brengsek aku ga peduli...

i guess that is how you call loving someone unconditionally ...

you just don't care...

but one thing...

as long as you keep on putting that smile i really like...

it doesn't matter

it never matter actually

aku ga peduli seberapa ga pentingnya kamu nganggep aku

buatku kamu sesuatu uhmm important :D

where to run?

a vow

once said, in front of everyone matter

did that have a contingency?
did that matter?
did you remember?

till death do us apart...

hmm...

does that mean anything to you?

to me, everything

when people start to like talking about the beauty of marriage, do they really come up with it's meaning deep inside it?

or is it just some kind of justification to get legal sex?

not that i'm being cynical over marriage or something, but seeing how people could and would get their marriage divorced bother me a lot.

what is their contingency plan when they first order the lily bucket for each of the table in the hotel ballroom?

to get the wealth of other? to finally having the dream party in white dresses?

oh my god

how shallow...

i know this is not how all people would see how this would go
but let me tell you one thing

the part till death do us part? they are ridiculous

wait till your husband got fired and you will say this


"oh my god, what did i do? now i got nowhere to run"