presents

to begin with this very hectic experiences of mine *drama queen*

i'm going to start with the word NEW

it's new people
new environment

new habits

it's just so new that if you keep static it won't get you nowhere

i thought i would die here

nope, i'm very well alive

i bring changes in life of several people not to mention myself

to tell you the most detail parts of stories i wouldn't have enough character to describe it all. but for once and for all i feel what those people feel. self actualization. 2 words, 7 syllables but wide in meaning. you might think, " what the hell is this freak talking about now?" i'm talking about self identity, keeping it real, and standing still with any words they are throwing on your face. it's about showing everyone who you really are and not scared of it. i'm talking the pioneers of women's emancipation those who can rely on themselves.

for one i take a stand for myself, i refuse to listen to my mom. i joined internship of BEM well, for those who are not familiar with the word it is an organization that would give you plenty of opportunity to be well umm, freaking dizzy and busy with their assignments. why i want it? i'm not sure why but it's a matter of dignity and again self-actualization.

i need to take a breath, i need to walk very slow, and really watch the road. i know it might be a little bumpy on the road. but i'm willing to take that chance i need to know what i am capable of, and how hard i can take punches in the face. i refuse to take the safe road and i declare my freedom of thought as a person, a daughter, and a human being. i need support. yes i need every bit of it

reborn

hi!

been long gone from this world...

i miss everything from my world before this

the sarcastic bitter and wild girl lies beneath me now

i'm no longer that girl

i'm no longer 16

I AM 17 YEARS OLD NOW HAHAHA

bittersweet though i am getting older, yes

but you know what i'm savoring the moment

posting a wee bit to show you i still care

sign out see ya!!!

my story

mamaku mungkin skeptis

mamaku mungkin seseorang yang ga menghargai persahabatan sebanyak aku

tapi...

itu ga membuat aku orang yang sama

aku orang yang benar benar berbeda dengannya

aku orang yang mencintai persahabatan dan esensinya

aku orang yang menghargai persahabaatan lewat secarik kertas atau potongan majalah

aku orang yang bersedia tidak tidur untuk seorang teman

aku orang yang menangis karena mendengar satu kalimat

aku orang yang mengabaikan apapun demi apa yang kuinginkan

semua itu sempat terkubur

hidup ini keras, kata seseorang

sempat membentuk aku yang berbeda

tapi hari ini aku rasa aku kembali

ga ada seorang pun yang mengerti tingkahku

cuma aku

aku orang yang menghargai hal hal kecil dalam hidup satu juta kali lebih dari pada orang lain

dan aku bangga

terserah apa kata kalian bahkan keluargaku sendiri

aku itu ya aku

hidup dengan itu atau tidak sama sekali

gift for a friend

the sky changed colour

the rain drops

the world is sad for us

but it's no end

it's a start

i know, you too, we know....

when the door opened i saw you probably not for the last, but probably for a long while

i smile, i couldn't imagine it was gonna be the last time, it's hard

but i still smile knowing about it

when the door slammed i instantly cried...

the moment was clear but it was somehow very difficult to say

i wanna say a lot of things

i should say thank you

no, i can never thank you enough

i should give you a longer hug

no, you worth more than just a hug you worth a thousand hug

we may never had any picture to show our relation

but without anyone's concern we walk and talk and laugh

we think "screw the world"

we live our life

everything that i prepared for you, i made it in a hurry

there are so many things going very wrong

i rush everything that i forget to mention there how i want to picture you as all of those presents

i should give you a thousand gift

i suck

i'm not perfect

i am a chocolate you are my sugar

my life was bitter like pills before i met you

you changed me for a better person

like a sugar changed the taste of bitter chocolate and make it good

3 buttons means " i love you"

but there are only two

i took the "i" :]

everything i made for you was there for a reason

today i should say i will never find any friend like you

today i should cry in front of you to show how miserable i am

today i should say i wouldn't be the same person

but

that would be naive and selfish

you are sad too

but when i saw you today everything that i thought would change in my life without you

i believe will be entirely the same

because you leave the town

but you heart remains

and we will still be the same person we were until the day we meet again

THANK YOU

thank you a lot for staying there through thick and thin

i know when we meet again we will still the same

the very same best friends we were...

PS: i will take you to a trip along the city when you come back

bangun

let's just say teenagers love other teenagers

and it doesn't work

untung untung kalo sempet pacaran terus putus

tau yang lebih buruk

menunggu seorang alien selama 3 tahun berturut turut yang sama sekali ga membuahkan hasil malahan selalu aja bikin sakit hati

dia sih ga tau hal hal kecil yang dia lakuin itu efeknya besar banget ke kita tapi mana dia peduli

dia peduli kalo kita buat dia ngerasa seneng tapi apa ada imbalnya ke kita?

WAKE UP!!!

dia itu ga tertarik sama kita. no matter what we do

ga peduli kita tanya ke dia, dia lagi sakit apa

ga peduli kita selalu ngecek seatnya selama ulangan umum

ga peduli kita selalu ngecek status facebooknya in case dia lagi patah hati

ga peduli seberapa lama dia cuekin kita, dan kita masih gila tentang dia

DIA GA PEDULI SAMA KITA

mana dia tau kita seharian nangis di lab fisika cuman gara-gara dia "jadian" sama cewek lain

mana dia tau kita setengah mati ngebisa-bisain jalan bareng padahal keadaan sangat ga mungkin untuk jalan

mana dia tau kita sampe lari lari ke luar rumah cuman buat beli pulsa supaya bisa bales smsnya yang isinya cuman

"iya.kenapa?"

saya stuck selama tiga tahun kaya got yang ga pernah dibersihin kotorannya selalu numpuk di ujung selokan dan kalo hujan deres banjir meluap luap. TEPAT SEPERTI ITULAH SAYA....

pas semua masalah ngumpul jadi satu dan ga ada yang beres ditambah pikiran ttg di dan gosipnya semua cuman malah jadi luapan emosi yang ngabisin tenaga, pikiran, dan kebebasan saya...

saya ga tau kenapa tepatnya saya nulis tulisan ini

tapi baru aja saya dapet sms temen dekat saya betapa dia patah hati karena mantannya itu jadian sama cewek lain...

dia itu terlalu buta mengabaikan semua fakta di belakang itu, betapa ceweknya pernah ngejer-ngejer berondong tapi dia abaikan semua fakta itu sebelumnya dia cuman jatuh cinta langsung, straight tanpa peduli lampu merah di kanan kiri dia langsung jatuh cinta tanpa alasan

saya juga untuk pertama kalinya seumur hidup jatuh cinta sama cowok yang "jadian" beberapa kali tapi putus dengan "ga sopan" hhh

i guess we make mistakes all the times karena kita masih labil lah karena masih remaja lah tapi daripada kita menghabiskan bertahun tahun pada lelaki yang sama yang bahkan ga tau warna kesukaan kita

DROP OUT OF IT IMMEDIATELY

sebelum kalian menderita berkepanjangan

cari cowok lain

cari hobi lain

cari hal lain

masih ada jutaan ikan di lautan

jodoh kalian ada di luar sana

jangan menghabiskan waktu sama orang yang seuseless mereka

itu lost mereka udah ngelepas kalian

WAKE UP!!!!

see? i'm very labile

stupid teenagers hormone FUCK YOU!

I HATE HORMONE

i should be happy and instead i felt what?

miserable

fuck you adrenaline, estrogen or whatever they call you

sebuah post dan perasaan

sekarang saya lebih tahu apa yang saya rasakan

siapa saya...

i like this other guy from a competition, he blows my mind by the way he talks, thinks and behaves

sekarang saya tahu that feeling is just an awe. i don't fall for him. i love the way god create him. i am his fan. he's the BIG PICTURE. but he's not the one i want...

i fall for someone else

a person that is just too complicated to understand but i do :D

he's whatever he is

and i don't care if he's someone who would not understand what melodramatic means

thank you for the other guy to bring back how i really feel. thank you very much. your post was wonderful :)