my story

mamaku mungkin skeptis

mamaku mungkin seseorang yang ga menghargai persahabatan sebanyak aku

tapi...

itu ga membuat aku orang yang sama

aku orang yang benar benar berbeda dengannya

aku orang yang mencintai persahabatan dan esensinya

aku orang yang menghargai persahabaatan lewat secarik kertas atau potongan majalah

aku orang yang bersedia tidak tidur untuk seorang teman

aku orang yang menangis karena mendengar satu kalimat

aku orang yang mengabaikan apapun demi apa yang kuinginkan

semua itu sempat terkubur

hidup ini keras, kata seseorang

sempat membentuk aku yang berbeda

tapi hari ini aku rasa aku kembali

ga ada seorang pun yang mengerti tingkahku

cuma aku

aku orang yang menghargai hal hal kecil dalam hidup satu juta kali lebih dari pada orang lain

dan aku bangga

terserah apa kata kalian bahkan keluargaku sendiri

aku itu ya aku

hidup dengan itu atau tidak sama sekali

gift for a friend

the sky changed colour

the rain drops

the world is sad for us

but it's no end

it's a start

i know, you too, we know....

when the door opened i saw you probably not for the last, but probably for a long while

i smile, i couldn't imagine it was gonna be the last time, it's hard

but i still smile knowing about it

when the door slammed i instantly cried...

the moment was clear but it was somehow very difficult to say

i wanna say a lot of things

i should say thank you

no, i can never thank you enough

i should give you a longer hug

no, you worth more than just a hug you worth a thousand hug

we may never had any picture to show our relation

but without anyone's concern we walk and talk and laugh

we think "screw the world"

we live our life

everything that i prepared for you, i made it in a hurry

there are so many things going very wrong

i rush everything that i forget to mention there how i want to picture you as all of those presents

i should give you a thousand gift

i suck

i'm not perfect

i am a chocolate you are my sugar

my life was bitter like pills before i met you

you changed me for a better person

like a sugar changed the taste of bitter chocolate and make it good

3 buttons means " i love you"

but there are only two

i took the "i" :]

everything i made for you was there for a reason

today i should say i will never find any friend like you

today i should cry in front of you to show how miserable i am

today i should say i wouldn't be the same person

but

that would be naive and selfish

you are sad too

but when i saw you today everything that i thought would change in my life without you

i believe will be entirely the same

because you leave the town

but you heart remains

and we will still be the same person we were until the day we meet again

THANK YOU

thank you a lot for staying there through thick and thin

i know when we meet again we will still the same

the very same best friends we were...

PS: i will take you to a trip along the city when you come back

bangun

let's just say teenagers love other teenagers

and it doesn't work

untung untung kalo sempet pacaran terus putus

tau yang lebih buruk

menunggu seorang alien selama 3 tahun berturut turut yang sama sekali ga membuahkan hasil malahan selalu aja bikin sakit hati

dia sih ga tau hal hal kecil yang dia lakuin itu efeknya besar banget ke kita tapi mana dia peduli

dia peduli kalo kita buat dia ngerasa seneng tapi apa ada imbalnya ke kita?

WAKE UP!!!

dia itu ga tertarik sama kita. no matter what we do

ga peduli kita tanya ke dia, dia lagi sakit apa

ga peduli kita selalu ngecek seatnya selama ulangan umum

ga peduli kita selalu ngecek status facebooknya in case dia lagi patah hati

ga peduli seberapa lama dia cuekin kita, dan kita masih gila tentang dia

DIA GA PEDULI SAMA KITA

mana dia tau kita seharian nangis di lab fisika cuman gara-gara dia "jadian" sama cewek lain

mana dia tau kita setengah mati ngebisa-bisain jalan bareng padahal keadaan sangat ga mungkin untuk jalan

mana dia tau kita sampe lari lari ke luar rumah cuman buat beli pulsa supaya bisa bales smsnya yang isinya cuman

"iya.kenapa?"

saya stuck selama tiga tahun kaya got yang ga pernah dibersihin kotorannya selalu numpuk di ujung selokan dan kalo hujan deres banjir meluap luap. TEPAT SEPERTI ITULAH SAYA....

pas semua masalah ngumpul jadi satu dan ga ada yang beres ditambah pikiran ttg di dan gosipnya semua cuman malah jadi luapan emosi yang ngabisin tenaga, pikiran, dan kebebasan saya...

saya ga tau kenapa tepatnya saya nulis tulisan ini

tapi baru aja saya dapet sms temen dekat saya betapa dia patah hati karena mantannya itu jadian sama cewek lain...

dia itu terlalu buta mengabaikan semua fakta di belakang itu, betapa ceweknya pernah ngejer-ngejer berondong tapi dia abaikan semua fakta itu sebelumnya dia cuman jatuh cinta langsung, straight tanpa peduli lampu merah di kanan kiri dia langsung jatuh cinta tanpa alasan

saya juga untuk pertama kalinya seumur hidup jatuh cinta sama cowok yang "jadian" beberapa kali tapi putus dengan "ga sopan" hhh

i guess we make mistakes all the times karena kita masih labil lah karena masih remaja lah tapi daripada kita menghabiskan bertahun tahun pada lelaki yang sama yang bahkan ga tau warna kesukaan kita

DROP OUT OF IT IMMEDIATELY

sebelum kalian menderita berkepanjangan

cari cowok lain

cari hobi lain

cari hal lain

masih ada jutaan ikan di lautan

jodoh kalian ada di luar sana

jangan menghabiskan waktu sama orang yang seuseless mereka

itu lost mereka udah ngelepas kalian

WAKE UP!!!!

see? i'm very labile

stupid teenagers hormone FUCK YOU!

I HATE HORMONE

i should be happy and instead i felt what?

miserable

fuck you adrenaline, estrogen or whatever they call you

sebuah post dan perasaan

sekarang saya lebih tahu apa yang saya rasakan

siapa saya...

i like this other guy from a competition, he blows my mind by the way he talks, thinks and behaves

sekarang saya tahu that feeling is just an awe. i don't fall for him. i love the way god create him. i am his fan. he's the BIG PICTURE. but he's not the one i want...

i fall for someone else

a person that is just too complicated to understand but i do :D

he's whatever he is

and i don't care if he's someone who would not understand what melodramatic means

thank you for the other guy to bring back how i really feel. thank you very much. your post was wonderful :)

FATE

ada yg namanya takdir yang ga bisa diubah hidup, mati, jodoh

lainnya?

fleksibel sekali. Tinggal minta langsung dikasih, ngg ga juga sih ada yang langsng dikasih, ada yang ditunda, anda yang diganti tergantung Tuhan moodnya kasi apa

waktu mau tes itb, saya bertanya-tanya dalam hati.."Tuhan, apa yang harus saya minta? minta masuk itb atau minta yang terbaik?"

sayangnya, Tuhan ga jawab pertanyaan saya dengan frontal.

saya buat keputusan sendiri, okelah saya minta nya gini

"Ya Tuhan jadikanlah itb sebagai Universitas terbaik bagi hidup saya, dan masukkanlah saya ke sana"

berulang-ulang setiap sholat, setiap ada kesempatan untuk doa itu yang saya minta.

terus taunya saya ga masuk ke itb, saya ga nyalahin Tuhan ga nyalahin orang tua, saya sempet salahin diri sendiri. Kenapa waktu itu saya doanya maksa? kenapa waktu itu saya ga minta dikasi yang terbaik aja apapun itu biar ga sekecewa ini? saya nangis tersedu sedan waktu tau ditolak?

saya pikir lagi, ohh saya tau...ketika saya doa pikiran saya selalu ada dua ketika mengucap doa saya selalu minta itb tapi hati saya tau yang saya paling ingin adalah diberi yang terbaik apapun itu

jadi setelah ditolak itb -anyway, ditolak unair juga- saya ganti doa

"Ya Tuhan berikanlah saya terbaik, apapun itu berikanlah saya dan kedua orang serta keluarga yang terbaik"

itu yang saya ulang setiap kali, kali ini lebih khusyuk karena saya tau ini adalah yang saya inginkan

di tengah keputus asaan tiba-tiba terbersit aja pengen ikut tes unmul, out of nowhere sambil nangis aku tiba-tiba tegas banget pengen ikut tes ini

enough story, tanpa ekspetasi apapun saya sama sekali ga menyangka bakal diterima di unmul. saya bener bener ga nunggu pengumuman sama sekali, tiba-tiba aja ada kaya 10 sms saying " CONGRATULATION" and i was like..."WHATT???"

satu detik setelah itu aku ngerasa rasa senang banget. BANGET

and i was like, okay should or should not chase after itb? after considering all options and odds and capability *and of course FATE* i decide to take unmul walaupun jurusannya kedokteran yang mana aku sama sekali ga ada kepikiran

why do i call this FATE? gini ya untuk tes ini aku cuman belajar dari buku soal snmptn, terus aku masih ga bisa ngerjain fisika SAMA SEKALI, hari pertama sih lancar aja soalnya bahasa inggris meen, yang hari kedua itu MIPA. Let me put it this wayaku sampe mau muntah, baru kelar ngerjain 60 soal aku mual dan mau muntah aku sampe ga bisa baca soal, pas ngerjain mipa terpadu aku udah ga inget apa-apa, ga ada satupun soal yang nyantol karena aku udah ga mampu sama sekali baca soal...kepalaku pusing abisss aku sempet pesimis

terus ya, ga berhenti disitu waktu aku mikir mau ikut SNMPTN nah terus aku kan liat tanggal pengumumannya 17 juli, nah waktu aku liat di kertas pengumumannya unmul terakhir bayar tanggal 16 juli jadi aku ga jadi ikut daripada riskan mengecewakan diri sendiri. 3 hari setelah pendaftaran SNMPTN selesai, aku liat algi kertas pengumuman unmul DAANNNNN..........ternyata batas akhir bayar adalah 16 AGUSTUS saudara saudara...

saya salah liat kertas pengumuman and it happens like 3 times

kata papaku " kalo emang udah jodoh ga bakal kemana"

so i take his advice, and i accept the offer

i take this as the offer from god :)

FATES ARE JUST SOOO FUNNY, ARENT THEY?

HUMANITY

this is not my kind of quirk to care more to political advances, but this time i have to. My heart is ripped off by this video footage of a palestinian children who is complaining and getting angry about how her clothes smell like gas, and how it suffocates her and her family, how she had to beg for clothes from her neighbor.

i'm pointing this issue from where i'm standing. As a human. My judgement has no correlation with my religion affiliation. As a human being, would you like your house to be bombed by millions of missiles? how would you feel if you lost your innocent kids for no wrong doing? how do you feel if everything you struggled of having in years are destroyed in no seconds? how do you see a 10 years old prepare themselves with guns, in case their sisters attacked which is pretty ensured by Israel?

from where i'm standing it's horrible, from Palestinian point of view this is pretty much commonly their daily bases of lives.

okay now i'm going to try to be a reply speaker for let's say neutral team, i would say

Israel is only doing what they do because they want to protect their armed-with-modern-handguns-with helmet-bulletproof coat guys from people who are throwing rocks, fire, small cheap home made alcohol bomb with no safety protection whatsoever.

and let's see what happened just a couple of days ago. Israel is attacking an activists boat that transport 11 tons of help for Palestinian who are trapped in Gaza and having a hard time finding foods,water, aids, and medical supplies. What happened? Israel troops are attacking the boat and exactly 9 activists are confirmed murdered in that incident

whoow whoow...did i just say incident? as long as i remembered incident happened if it is not planned. How about this one? was these 19 people are PLANNING to bomb Israel? or probably these actvist are PLANNING on sneaking in to Israel territory? but why are these people are not attacking the troops with guns if they are really really endangering Israel troops? why are they fight against the troops with bare hands instead pulling out guns if they are really concerned as danger? why are they so incapable of fighting back if they are dangerous? isn't it weird?

check this out, it's a statement provided by the minister of foreign affairs in Israel

"During the interception of the ships, the demonstrators onboard attacked the IDF naval personnel with live fire and light weaponry including knives and clubs. Additionally one of the weapons used was grabbed from an IDF soldier. The demonstrators had clearly prepared their weapons in advance for this specific purpose."

knives?

clubs?

compared to handguns that can ripped your ribs?

ooohh those activists must be really good with knives to scare the hell out of the troops

why does it have to cause innocent victims?

why attacking by lethal moves to kill more people instead of disabling the attacker if that's even really really necessary?

why putting hundreds of people in cuff with less food and water while their intention is pure to help other people from suffer?

what else is interesting?

in a video footage it was shown that the troops are asking the region of those activists, some from Malaysia, Indonesia, England, and etcetera

troops : where do you come from?

A : England *troops letting go cuff and suddenly treating the person nice"

troops : where do you come from?

B : Indonesia *troops laughing, and the spitting on his face"

good nice example troops

if my parent see me spitting on people's face they would give me REAL pain in my ass

but apparently killing people too often ruining their morality. As an Indonesian i'm not offended by what those troops did but i feel pity for that country to allow such morality disorder being done by their saint heroic troops.

oops, i forget at this moment i have to put my point of view on Israel. this is really hard to understand what they do but it easier to find thousands of point of view to be against Israel.

right now people all over the world are protesting what Israel do, and what Israel are stating is that they are just trying to PROTECT THEMSELVES and by that it allows them to attack the civilians ; including activists

now i'm gonna see this from Palestine point of view

shit, those activists will not make it. My babies and I are going to be starved for another day. Whatever we or other people try to do for Palestine are always wrong in the eyes of Israel. It will always end up with war for them. As long as we die not in the mist of smoke from nuclear and missiles, we are fine. As long as I can still pray to God i'm fine.

that's the only point of view that i can find for Palestine.

yet, i keep typing this but the war is not stopping

what i would like to do by this post is to state what side i am in

I just hope that this war is not going to make the start of another war. we should not address this war to Moslem's, Jewish, or Christian but this is a war of HUMANITY.

that's the point of view i would like to believe

I AM IN THE SIDE OF JUSTICE AND HUMANITY