Madness

Madness is when test is coming in no second and you are just feeling like not prepared

Madness is when you think you're going for the second puberty (which is so eeew by the way)

Madness is when you feel like your hormones got the best of you in making you look as the worst kind

Madness is when you realize you want to have the high school romance all over again with the different guy

Madness is when you try to handle 2 jobs adequately, organizations, and med-school at the very same time

Madness is when you try to find a concept for a novel, but it just wasn't there

Madness is when you realize that your life has been too long for such a short journey

Madness is when you start to realize that on this very wide world there are only few, in fact one person that can fit the description as your BEST FRIEND

MADNESS is when all these things happen i try so hard to think about them at the same time that i feel like my brain is about to explode at anytime.

But you know what else is mad?

that a single song or a single activity that you really fond of can wipe all of them from your very mind.

Mine? I just did it. I just wrote. 

And as if God knows that I wouldn't get any better He plays me "Stereo Hearts" on tv and got me to finally smile and realize that all of those madness is great. It's a proof that I'm alive and I am not numb. Even if i am mad, I am living my own life :)

Skyscraper

Climbing my way up and up. You may underestimate me, I don't mind. But when I get to the top you'll be sitting in despair regretting every word. The sky might be high, but I'm running to catch it, I'm a skyscraper

meng-autis

how great is the universe

Have you for once look at the sky and notice how starry or dark it is? How pretty or how the star is blinking though they are million kilometers of light speed away from us? Or how the clouds' color is dark at night?

or

Have you ever notice how the leaves of a tree are falling? Humbly it falls to the ground and never complained having us stepping on them.

You might have more important things to do. Like going to work or maybe changing the world

But if just you would stop for one minute, no at least 3 seconds and notice the inner peace that the nature prepares you, you might just breathe. You might even smile

This is how I want to start myself everyday, by thanking God for all the things He has created and balanced. This is how I want to start changing the world by thanking God for the universe.

Look at yourselves how many times you feel unhappy for your old creaky car, while some other have to walk for miles scratching the soil looking for pennies.
Look at how people are just so ignorant to the nature makes a lot of profit out of them and still the nature is there for human.

If God would want it by a single sun storm and we'd lose everything. But God still gives us chances. For what? To repair the inner you to have the same frequency with the nature. How start noticing, thanking, then caring.

The universe is already good and great enough, why cant we be exactly like that? Is human really that animal?

A Year Later.

This is Elza. Not much differences in looks only... But I'm 18.

I've lived isolated from my ultimate hobby in the world for more than a year.   WRITING.

Some people really felt like it was a thousands steps back from me to quit writing at first, but I literally have no time just to think outside the box. Medical School is all about textbook and handbook practices. I went from Mia Thermopolis fairytale to Heart Physiology of Exercise #suddensilence. My life and how I see the world now, are so much different to everything in High School. Good different I assume and I want to share it with people.  I mean my head is so much lighter, my time is soo much more efficient with the same amount of fun, I can follow my education very well, and I'm still pursuing my dreams, to become a writer. Going to Med-School and going to graduate as a doctor doesn't mean I should stop pursuing my dreams or looking at the shattered glass for a long time in regrets. I should've been more mature and picked up all those pieces and create a new mosaic from the shattered dreams. Well, no time for regrets, I am making my own Dream Mosaics right now.

How do I wake up from the young people uncertainty? I will go over them one by one later in my writings in this blog later. But if you're not really sure I've changed, you are so welcome to read all the posts I have under this one. All of them might be different from each other but actually the have a strong similarity. They are too random, unfocused, and fully-loaded by uncertainty. That was me a year ago. A fussy wordmouth plentyful (i have no idea what it means. Just like combining word like that. Lol) - i complained a lot - and I was having a hard time enjoying my own life by considering little things that won't matter in my future as SOS-need-to-be-handled-right-now stuff.

This is not just another blog...It's my experience of growing up. It doesn't mean I have done growing up, I'm still in the process and I'm learning too together with all of you...with all the randomness in the world.

#brainsynaptic : IF YOU FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING RIGHT NOW, THINK ABOUT A FEW YEARS TO COME AND HOW YOU'LL LAUGH SHYLY AND PROUD AT TODAY THAT YOU HAVE MADE IT THROUGH. And else, remember you have survived the toughest journey before you were even born, caved in for 9 months inside a tiny watery womb with all the risks that comes along that were ready to prevent you from being born, but you made it right? world is not even a quarter of that...HAVE SOME FAITH BIG BABY!

presents

to begin with this very hectic experiences of mine *drama queen*

i'm going to start with the word NEW

it's new people
new environment

new habits

it's just so new that if you keep static it won't get you nowhere

i thought i would die here

nope, i'm very well alive

i bring changes in life of several people not to mention myself

to tell you the most detail parts of stories i wouldn't have enough character to describe it all. but for once and for all i feel what those people feel. self actualization. 2 words, 7 syllables but wide in meaning. you might think, " what the hell is this freak talking about now?" i'm talking about self identity, keeping it real, and standing still with any words they are throwing on your face. it's about showing everyone who you really are and not scared of it. i'm talking the pioneers of women's emancipation those who can rely on themselves.

for one i take a stand for myself, i refuse to listen to my mom. i joined internship of BEM well, for those who are not familiar with the word it is an organization that would give you plenty of opportunity to be well umm, freaking dizzy and busy with their assignments. why i want it? i'm not sure why but it's a matter of dignity and again self-actualization.

i need to take a breath, i need to walk very slow, and really watch the road. i know it might be a little bumpy on the road. but i'm willing to take that chance i need to know what i am capable of, and how hard i can take punches in the face. i refuse to take the safe road and i declare my freedom of thought as a person, a daughter, and a human being. i need support. yes i need every bit of it

reborn

hi!

been long gone from this world...

i miss everything from my world before this

the sarcastic bitter and wild girl lies beneath me now

i'm no longer that girl

i'm no longer 16

I AM 17 YEARS OLD NOW HAHAHA

bittersweet though i am getting older, yes

but you know what i'm savoring the moment

posting a wee bit to show you i still care

sign out see ya!!!